Top 10 Things to Expect before elections

Top 10 Things to Expect before elections

1.Mosquito Infestation:

Get ready to have your ears assaulted by General Mosquito’s voice everywhere you turn. It has started already but it’s only going to become worse. There will be no radio station you will tune into without hearing an interview, sound bite or debate that won’t involve him.

General Mosquito is Grand Wizard of Ghanaian politics. He’s mastered the arts of illusions, diversionary tactics and being such a pleasure to interview. He isn’t always right but that never stopped him from being confident and politics is all about confidence and trickery.

NDC's General Secretary, Asiedu Nketia

NDC’s General Secretary, Asiedu Nketia

2.Reheated and Garnished Promises:

Chef Mahama is back in his kitchen reheating all those promises from 2012 and you know how good reheated food can taste some times. All the things he promised that aren’t done are coming back in sequels like Kumawood movies and just like Kumawood movies; it will be hard to follow the plot.

Remember before the 2012 election one CPP guy went to some village and promised that if CPP won, every household in Ghana would get a chicken? I’m surprised CPP didn’t win. Maybe Ghanaians don’t like chicken. Expect more of these amazing promises.

3.Information Overload:

NPP have already got out their thesaurus and are churning out the big words. Running Bawumia will be on any stage he can find holding wads of dot matrix printing sheets with plenty numbers. While NDC and General Mosquito are busy handing out bags of rice and T-Shirt that get loose neck after one washing, NPP will be busy telling us the state of the economy using all the big words and economic jargons they can find.
Those who don’t understand will pretend they do, those who do will nod their heads in agreement and swear that based on these facts, NPP is winning hands down.

Vice Presidential candidate of the New Patriotic Party (NPP) Dr. Mahamadu Bawumia

Vice Presidential candidate of the New Patriotic Party (NPP) Dr. Mahamadu Bawumia

4.Leaked Tapes:

For the past few years, NPP always bless us with a mix tape from some high-powered meeting that contains statements that will rightly or wrongly be construed as elitist or fanning ethnic sentiments. For some reason, they can’t seem to keep things behind closed doors. These tapes will be discussed and over analyzed on morning shows everywhere.

Expect NPP to shoot themselves in the foot just before squeaky bum time.

5.Protests and Boycotts:

NPP has started early, but that’s to be expected, they are in opposition. Expect party speakers to boycott certain radio and TV stations because they are seen as supporting the other side. Never mind that these were the same station the other side also accused of supporting them when they were in opposition.

6. Catchy Slogans that don’t mean anything:

There was a time when “E dey bee keke” was MTN’s slogan that was before President Mahama commandeered it in the name of God and Country and rode on it to victory. While NPP was busy talk free education and how they’d implement it, NDC were dancing azonto and shouting “e dey bee keke” and you know that’s how elections are won in Ghana.

Expect Sheikh IC Quaye to arise from where ever he’s hiding and come up with some really catch phrase for the Nana Addo train. Sheikh never disappoints

7.Weird Signboards and Killer Ads:

Remember that NPP song with kids singing “Kuffour, JA Kuffour”? NDC didn’t see that one coming and had no response. That song was so catchy that everyone was singing it. I strongly believe that song won NPP the elections.

When it comes of weird signboards, nobody does it like the smaller parties.

This guy forgot to put his name on his poster

This NDC one…

8.CPP – PNC Study Group:

Back in Uni, sometimes we would mess around for most of the semester and when it was getting to exams we would suddenly get serious and form study group. Usually we would end up discussing football or some other irrelevant thing and get to the exams hall totally unprepared just like CPP and PNC.

Every 4 years they promise us this is the year they unite to wrestle power from NDC or NPP. Every time they fail to. Expect them to get a total voting percentage of less than 3%.

9. We The Humble:

The Late President Atta Mills changed the game forever when he went on his door-to-door campaign. His whole campaign was based on his humble persona and being able to empathize with the common folks.

 Late President John Atta Mills

Late President John Atta Mills

Since then every time it’s time for elections, politicians everywhere will be found doing normal people stuff like, eating kenkey with market women while wearing expensive suits. Visiting random home and eating yam from a very old looking bowl while looking totally out of place.

NPP presidential candidate eating kenkey with some Ghanaians

NPP presidential candidate eating kenkey with some Ghanaians

10. Ben Ephson, Kwaku Baako and Kwesi Pratt:

If General Mosquito is the Grand Wizard of Ghanaian politics then Ben Ephson is Nostradamus incarnate or at least that’s what the media thinks. Uncle Ben will be giving predictions everywhere.

Kwaku Baako and Kwesi Pratt seem to have read every newspaper from when ever newspapers started printing in Ghana. Election fever is not officially a thing until you see them back to back on TV political programs for 7 days in a row.

By: Efo Dela/

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