Chicken Republic

6

Someone once said, “If politicians thought we were all cannibals, they would promise us fattened missionaries just to get our support”. I am not sure who said that, but he must have been very famous or quite wise.

It is almost election time, and politicians have started making over-the-top campaign promises in an attempt to woo voters. Walls everywhere are being defaced with all sort of political colours and radio stations are constantly interviewing politicians. Everywhere, everyday Ghanaians are busy discussing politics and giving their own expert analysis on the economy and other issues. It seems politicians are trying to outdo each other in the, “Most Outlandish Promise of the Year” competition.

My favorite campaign promise of all is the one made by the Subin Constituency Youth Organizer of the Convention People’s Party, Abdul Rahman, during an interview with the Daily Guide in Kumasi at the Heroes Park, Baba Yara Stadium. According to him, the CPP had plans to give out one chicken per household if they were voted into power.

Photo credit: thereallygoodlife.com

This campaign promise is relevant because a majority of Ghanaians like their chicken, especially around Christmas, which is not too far away from the election. If CPP wins, the chicken can be delivered to every house just in time for the festivities, saving everyone some money and the hustle of dragging chicken in a trotro all the way from agbogbloshie.

Some people have said this promise is impractical and not sustainable, but I believe it is achievable. If any party can do this, it has to be the party with the Chicken for its logo. We only need to sort out a few details and everything will be okay.

For example, will the chicken be dead or alive? I’m sure some people will want theirs alive so they can breed them for more chickens. We all know most Ghanaian families rear fowls on the “free range” system. If it is alive what kind of chicken would it be, layers or broilers?

Would it be a dead chicken? If it is dead, then it has to be processed the Ghanaian way. Apart from feathers, nails and the bile, no other part should be wasted. Gizzard and chicken feet especially are delicacies in most Ghanaian homes.

There’s also the small problem of how the house will be counted. Does a Boys’ Quarters count as a house? What if there are two families living in one house? Would student hostels be counted? Would an extra chicken be given to large families?

Hopefully during the next CPP rally, the Flagbearer of the party will address these questions and set our minds at ease. These are the kind of campaign promises we have been waiting for: Promises that put food on the table. We have no interest in macro and micro economics, inflation or stability of the Cedi against the Dollar.

But just a second: In other news, Madam Akua Donkor, the Ghana Freedom Party Flagbearer, while speaking on Adom FM, promised all teachers and journalist free cars and petrol. I was a bit tempted but since I am neither a teacher nor a journalist, I will stick to the CPP. I am encouraging all my friends to vote for the CPP. We need those chickens so we can have a party during the Christmas.

 

The author, Efo Alonte Hunter, is a career Ghanaian and a geneticist.

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